10 Unwanted Negative thoughts you need to be aware

Society

Aisha Ahmed

In a life , all of you experience this type of thinking called Negative thinking or Unhelpful thinking. Such thinking that doesn’t benefit you in the least , when it’s not useful and doesn’t add value to your life. You’re gonna notice these thinking patterns then you’re gonna consider things or event differently that is what CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) is. Having a situation, brooding about it a method and saying ‘oh I can believe it differently during a more positive way or more helpful way’ Does that make sense? So we’re going to discuss ten errors that stops us thinking or react situations differently or during a positive way.

1. All or Nothing thinking • Sometimes called ‘black and white thinking’ • If I’m not perfect I have failed • Either I roll in the hay right or not in the least Yes, we have all done it before , an example, a lot of you are in School, College , University where if you fail a test you say I failed a test there’s the very fact therefore I’m stupid that’s black and white thinking there’s not grey area there saying I failed this test but previously I passed numerous I did well in that Science exam. So I don’t want you to discount the positive there. Life isn’t black and white there’s also a gray part which is there to be seen.

2. Over-generalising • Everything is always rubbish • Nothing good ever happens seeing a pattern based upon one event, or being overly broad within the conclusions we draw. For example I read on a news story where group of teenagers literally watched someone drown and do not help them and laugh so you think that ‘ okay I’m getting to over-generalize those teenagers are assholes therefore all teenagers , all millenials are assholes’. That’s not the way it works. ‘ You go see a basketball and you notice there’s a lot of black people on a court therefore I’m gonna over-generalize all black people must play basketball. So over-generalize completely skews facts from fiction. That doesn’t make any sense at all. So this what we do all the time, we see something and that we put labels on everything thing supported what we see which is totally wrong.

3. Belief System • Only listening to certain sorts of evidence • Noticing our failures but not seeing our successes Everyone features a belief system that helps them to interpret their everyday reality. Based on what they really belief and this might be within the sort of spirituality, philosophy or religion. When you’re sad and worried with something or you’re offended by what someone said or what someone did to you. If you’re offended believe what thought goes through my mind did someone challenge my belief system and if so what’s my belief system is it factually wrong , is it actually right and they are telling the reality , are there any statistics behind what they’re saying and its not my truth and that i can’t believe it. The reason we get offended and upset is things challenged our belief systems and make us feel very uncomfortable like everything you have ever believed and your whole entire life is now meaningless and its extremely difficult to live.

4. Magnification • Blowing things out of proportion or having doubts and second thoughts about things that are unclear, shrinking something to form it seem smaller . Exagerrated a particular event for instance for instance at work or school you’re doing a presentaton and you stutter or If you go over ahead of 1,000,000 people and then you felt embarassed and considered yourself as a freak you’re over-generalzing certain situations just ask yourself will this matter during a week , will this matter in a month , will this even matter in a year? No, people forget new things come up in their lives , new things come up in yours that’s life so try to not magnify and exaggerate situtations or anything you go through.

5. Emotional reasoning • Assuming that because we feel a particular way what we expect must be true • I feel embarassed so i need to be an idiot This is one of the most important one. This is why there are many problems in the world. This why murder happens. This is why everyone’s in jail because people think with emotion e.g ‘ i would like to murder that person because i’m angry , i would like to require revenge , revenge is so emotional. Logically if we took emotion aside ‘ okay if i kill that person I’m getting to attend jail for the remainder of my life and that i won’t be able to see my family and friends, okay i shouldn’t do that’. Emotion really motivates us to form bad decisions alot of the time. Suicide is so complex and such a tragedy and it’s brought on and is attempted with obviously emotional reasoning. I feel depressed , I desire i will be able to never be happy again my life is worthless all emotion there so therefore the simplest thing I can do is to end my life. Understandable that therein situation you can’t see an end it’s all emotional reasoning there’s no logic there saying ‘oh okay a year from now if I try medication if I do this and this I could feel better and five years from now on I could be so happy no it doesn’t work that way’. Emotional reasoning is extremely important to believe that unhelpful thinking style where you would like to seem at the logic of things .

6. Should/ Must Statements• Using critical words like ‘should’, ‘must’, or ‘ought’ can make us feel guilty , or like we’ve already failed. • If we apply ‘shoulds’ to people the result’s often frustration. When we are looking into our past should is always used like ‘ I should have done that’. That to me personally creates instant regret ‘ I didn’t roll in the hay I should have therefore what I did was a failure’. Instead of the word ‘SHOULD’ use ‘NEXT TIME I WIll’ when you say next time I will you’re looking forward to the future you’re making a plan. But when you say I should have you’re looking into the past where something that’s already been done . What’s there to do? You can’t plan for what that’s already happened it’s already done. So get obviate that word should and particularly labelling people ‘ he or she should have done that they ought to have said this’ labelling people trying to control them with that word should doesn’t work. Next time I will done.

7. Labelling• Assigning labels to ourselves or other people • I’m a loser, I’m completely useless, They’re such an idiot All teenagers are assholes because I saw an asshole the opposite day. This is called Labelling. Now i would like to speak about labelling yourself ‘ i’m depressed, i’m anxious, i’m schizophrenic, i’m bipolar’. Labelling yourself with mental illness. I don’t think helps you recovery or helps in anyway once you say ‘I am’ it almost like I even have this is often a part of me which is okay but I prefer saying I’m feeling because saying ‘I am’ means i’m depressed meaning it’s a part of you each single day every single moment where actually we all know that emotions come and go depression comes and goes anxiety comes and goes, unwanted thoughts come and that they go a bit like clouds within the sky. You don’t have panic attack 24 hours a day seven days a week impossible. If you say I’m feeling depressed versus i’m depressed the word feeling means it isn’t a neighborhood of me it is a feeling ,it’s an emotion. Emotion they are available and that they go therefore only for changing your vocabulary around this.

8. Personalization ” This is my fault” • Blaming yourself or doubting your instincts for something you aren’t completely sure and is not considering your fault. • Conversely, blaming people for something for something that was your fault. Something about people that suffer from depression and are mentally or have some quite mood disorder desire the planet is on their shoulders and that i bet you are feeling that way. You feel like everything is your fault and it creates that compression and depression in you and you’re holding such a lot up all of the time. People do not like me because it’s my fault and i am not a funny person , I didn’t get the work because my interview skills suck therefore it’s my fault , I tousled that meal because I’m a shitty cook and damn it’s my fault that I didn’t watch more chef Ramsay on TV it is often my fault. But let me tell you something depression isn’t your fault , having an mental disorder isn’t your fault it isn’t . And it doesn’t assist you continuing to mention that it’s your fault you are not choosing you didn’t put your hand up at birth saying yeah i might love to suffer from depression for an honest 10 to fifteen or 50 years that might be really fun, no. You didn’t want this for yourself. So when those thoughts are available saying it’s my fault just notice it check out the logic saying you recognize what it isn’t my fault.

9. Jumping to Conclusions• Mind reading ( Imagining we all know what others are thinking) • Fortune telling ( predicting the future) You’re not a fortune teller yeah. I hate to interrupt it to you, attend these fortune tellers they’re all bullshit they can not predict the longer term either. No one can therefore notice in your thought patterns if you’re maybe close to go somewhere if you are going to a celebration and you’re replaying in youre head what it’s going to be like ‘ here she will probably be there and maybe they’ll have shrimp and I bet they will have a red wine or white too. Here you’re creating a scene predicting a future about what is going on to happen and you recognize what that creates you anxious doesn’t it? because you want to know everything. Anxiety is usually the fear of unknown so ofcourse we would like to place the pieces together but you cannot .

10. Disqualifying the positive• Discounting the good things that have happened or that you have done for some reason or another.. Let’s focus on our failures, where did we mess up, where did we go wrong. Let’s think of a positive a little more e.g You’ll come home from that party and you’ll say “I only spoke with one person and I was so quiet the whole time that sucked that was shit I failed”. Where’s the positive? ‘ You went to the party you did it right you didn’t get the job doing the interview but you went to the interview, you have some great experience and now the failure is experienced too but let’s not disqualify the positive make it there. There’s always two sides to the coin.

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